Jeffrey 0. Irish
Shedletsky
Position Paper 2
Sept. 24, 1996
What a powerful piece on the power of positive self-talk written by Julia
E. Weikle Blackwood! The essay, The Healing Power of Self-Talk, was only
two pages long but could prove to provide a person with a lifetime of wellness.
The essay hit home with me and I would like to use the antithesis of positive
self-talk to illustrate my point. I will tell you the story of Martin and Jane.
It's a sad story with an unhappy ending. It is a story that shows us how powerful the mind is.
Six years ago, around this time, Martin, a Vietnam veteran, took his own life. It was
devastating to the family, however, it didn't surprise any of us, especially
Jane. Jane was Martin's mother. Jane knew how badly Martin wanted to
leave this earth, and his wheelchair. Yes, Martinl was confined
to a wheelchair. Not because he was paralyzed and unable to get well,
but because he decided he didn't want to get well after taking a fall.
I loved Martin and I would say, from my many talks with him,
that his illness and his misery were a result of negative
self-talk ... a lifetime of negative self-talk.There was much not talked
about between Martin and Jane. Many of us speculated about what
happened so many years ago between Martin and Jane to cause him so
much pain, and her, but we didn't talk about it. And neither did they.
This is where my story begins. It took five years for Jane to join Martin. Five long, awfal years.
We watched Jane deteriorate little by little until that day when she left us, with the look of pain
on her face. I believe, as do others, that all of the various illnesses were brought about by
feelings of guilt and shame. In short, negative self-talk.
It started with the diagnosis of diabetes. Jane ballooned to about 350 lb.s after Martin's
death. The Drs. started to amputate her body parts because her circulation was failing.
Let me tell you what Louise L. Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life says
about diabetes. First, Louise states that almost all illness can be trace back to the mind.
She says that diabetes is a sign of a person longing for what might have been. I can
see that in Jane as she longed for a life that never was. Further, Louise attributes
diabetes to one's overwhelming need to control. Jane was a control freak! Finally,
Louise contends that the diabetes sets in when the sweetness has left the person,
which is exactly what happened to Jane when Martin left us. Louise Hay
would have suggested some non-invasive procedures for Jane to cope with her
diabetes. These procedures would be in the form of positive self- talk. Louise
would have told Jane to consider each moment a joy filled event. She would
have also told Jane to tell herself, "I now choose to experience the sweetness
of today. This may seem crazy to the casual observer, but those of us close to
bitter Jane know it would have done a world of good had Jane been able to
make the decision to get better mentally.
Jane also suffered from addictions. Hay attributes addiction to the running
from one's self, or dislike of the self . The remedy, again, is self talk in the
form of, "I now discover how wonderful I arn. I choose to love and
enjoy myself " We never heard those words from Jane. The list goes on and on.
Jane was admitted into the Hospital with a fistula, a bowel ailment. Hay
says this is caused by one holding on to the garbage of the past. Mary
never talked about her past except to say how awful it was. The remedy,
self-talk. "I am safe. I trust fully in the process of life. Life is for me."
None of us could imagine Jane speaking these words, out-loud, or to herself.
While Jane was in the hospital, the doctors discovered a form of
cancer that concentrates itself in the bone marrow. The cancer had located
itself on Jane's spinal cord which the doctors had to remove. Jane was
left with no feeling in her legs and was, like her former son, wheelchair bound.
The similarities between Martin and Jane were scary to witness. Jane had
mentally turned herself into the shell that her son had once been. Cancer
is the result, says Hay, of deep hurt and long-standing resentment. Hay
continues that cancer is the result of a deep secret or grief eating away
at the self, as well as carrying hatred, and feeling like, "what's the use?"
Louise Hay's strategy for fighting cancer is to have the patient forgive themselves
and to release the past. She further states the patient must tell themselves,
"I choose to fill my world with joy. I love and approve of myself (Hay#i 15 8).
We all knew Jane did none of these things.
The doctors told us that Jane's cancer was treatable. That she could live
many more years of life. All she had to do was do her physical therapy,
take her medication, and make some life changes. Jane would have
none of this. She finally stopped eating and died shortly thereafter.
Jane was my mother in law. She died in April of this year.
I guess my point in all this is that is very obvious to me what
negative self tatk can do to a body, soul, and mind. Why not,
then, can the assumption be made that positive self-talk can
have the opposite, healing effect? I agree with Blackwood's
statement, "our minds dictate our states of being." If we are
willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.
Louise Hay cured herself with positive self-talk after being
diagnosed as terminally ill with cancer.
Works Cited
Hay, Louise L. You Can Heal Your Life, California:
Hay House Publishing, l987.Weikle-Blackwood, Julia E. "The Healing Power Of Self-talk."
Intrapersonal Communication Processes. Eds. Leonard J. Shedletsky and
Joan E. Aitken. Michigan: Midnight Oil Multimedia, 1995.