Heather Korbini
Intrapersonal Communication
Position Statement #3
Perceived Understanding, Nonverbal Communication, and Relational Satisfaction
	
The article on perceived understanding and nonverbal communication gave me new insight
 into the power of nonverbal communication. Generally, when I think of interpersonal 
communication, I think of it involving spoken dialect, written words, or even sign 
language, all of which are symbols used to represent and communicate ideas to 
others. Of course, I realized the importance of nonverbal communication in everyday understanding, 
but I never really thought about what a big part it plays in making sense out of the messages we 
receive from others.


Aside from relational communication, nonverbal communication plays an  important role in our 
everyday encounters with others. Facial expressions alone can communicate volumes. Facial 
expressions along with verbal communication are very important in understanding another. For 
example, when a person says something with a smile, it could mean they are happy or feel
 sincere about what they said. If they said the same thing with perhaps a frown or scowl, 
although the words are the same, the meaning is different, and their facial expression could 
suggest maybe they were being sarcastic.
 
Eye contact, or lack thereof is another powerful form of nonverbal  communication. 

Eye contact with a person can communicate understanding, interest, or sincerity. 
Lack of eye contact, however can communicate nervousness, dishonesty or shame. 

Not only can we use nonverbal communication to understand another, it is also important 
determining whether or not others are understanding our messages. This back channel 
communication is important in relational satisfaction. To feel secure and valued in a 
relationship, we need to feel that the other person listens to and understands us. If, when we
 speak to another, they are looking at a newspaper, out the window or they sit and stare
 offering no nonverbal gestures, we can conclude that they are not listening to or understanding us. 

This can be very frustrating in a relationship and thus reduce satisfaction. However, if they are 
nodding their heads or even finishing our sentences for us, this can lead us to conclude that they 
are listening, and understanding what we say. This perceived understanding with another makes 
us satisfied in relationships because we feel that the other person is in tune with ourselves. 

Mallory, my best friend, and I can communicate without words. I never realized it before, but when 
we are with other friends of ours, they often sometimes feel left out of our conversations 
because they can't understand them.  Just by making eye contact with her, I can understand what
 she is thinking. We often say things at the same time and finish each others sentences. We 
can also communicate and understand each other without even using whole sentences, just a few 
key words. Geoff, a mutual friend of ours, who is often subject to our nonverbal communication, 
has termed it "Dolphin Language."  He says sometimes we don't even use words, we just utter 
sounds and only we can decipher the meaning in them. 
I think, however, that Mallory and I have perceived understanding only because we know each
 other so well and have been friends all of our lives. As far as  relational satisfaction is 
concerned, I think perceived understanding grows with time. The example of the couple in the 
beginning of the chapter portrays this. They looked at each other and then went out for a walk in 
the park.  Obviously, this understanding is something that developed along with their 
relationship. It would be hard to make eye contact with a stranger and have the person perceive 
that you want to walk in the park. 

Nonverbal communication is an essential part of perceived understanding not only in relationships 
but in our everyday encounters with people.